All’s well, now eat up

Happy ending

Little Maria Francesca (5 years old) can once again hug her dog Ribbon, whose disappearance yesterday had made her stop eating for days. “I’m so happy,” said the girl, “now I will never leave my ‘little brother’ again. I thought I had lost him forever.” The dog was found at Tiburtina Station thanks to the mobilization of the City Hall Office of Animal Rights and a joint police sting operation. It had been taken by a Rom tramp.

Your comments:
Stop eating for days?? Gimme a break! She missed one meal, and that was because she didn’t like it. She never eats any vegetables. I try my best! I’m not a bad mother!!

That crazy lady gave me 20 Euros to take the dog but I didn’t know how to make it sleep with the fishes. Can I go now?
anonymous Rom

Leave the gun. Take the wasabi.

T minus 30

I hadn’t planned it this way, it’s just that I had a sushi craving and then I started smearing on the wasabi and it came to me – a pre-emptive attack! If I’ve got to suffer jaw ache trying to hold my mouth open wider than it was ever intended, listen to that whining high-pitched drill, feel the grinding vibrations in my skull, smell the friction burns, almost choke on the water spray and my own blood, all while staring up into his nose?? Well he’s going to need a face mask, ‘cos when he gets a whiff of my wasabi, pickled ginger breath, he’s going to speed up the operation a bit.

Fisherman’s Friend, anyone?

Update: someone’d tipped him off. He already had the mask on when I arrived.

*aïe! aïe! aïe!*