Yackety yak

Honey, can youse take out the trash?

Yackety yak

I even sorted my crap: plastic with plastic, paper with paper, oozing sticky fluids with noxious defrosting fish.

Three carloads up and down the drive and it was done.

A little bit of Al Green, then I’m done too.

Andiamo!

The packers arrived at 8:00 and I had to tell them to wait. We still had no quote for the shipment and therefore had no idea of the cost. Imagine … we write them a blank cheque, they take all our stuff and hold it as ransom until we pay whatever they ask!

The quote arrived just before noon, but I had already let the packers start, after a tense moment with their boss on the phone. He said it was a done deal (“I promise, I promise!”), which was enough for the moment.

They’re now working extremely fast and I’m having a hard time keeping up with them … defrosting the freezer, washing last dishes and clothes, separating toys and other stuff going to the Netherlands, the rest to Kingston.

I still plan to drive north on Wednesday morning, 1688 km, according to my Michelin online route planner – a brilliant service, btw.

Wish me luck!

Girl-on-girl housework

There’s an ad campaign in Italy at the moment for endermology treatment that looks as if you iron away your cellulite.

I like the picture because I can imagine it embodies a doubly erotic fantasy for many men.
Girl-on-girl housework
I love the levitating table, but close up, the endermologicky machine looks scary.

Exterminate! Exterminate!

Exterminate! Exterminate!

Life’s too short to stuff a mushroom

Shirley Conran’s epigraph to Superwoman is as true today as it was 30 years ago. Here’s the high and low points of my day.

06:45
Woken by small boy. Freddo, mama. I’m bibbering. Stripped him off and showered him down. Stripped bed and loaded wash #1. Dressed both kids. Made their breakfast. Made their school lunch. Brought tea to Mr B. Hung up wash #1. Put in wash #2. Saw kids and Mr B off to school. Take out wash #2. Set wash #3 on timer.
08:30
Work.
12:00
Go to bank. Queue for 20 minutes at the “rush counter” (sic). Withdraw 800 Euros.
12:30
Go to post office. Queue for 30 minutes. Pay utility bills totalling 799 Euros. “Result happiness”, said Mr Micawber.
13:00
Work.
15:30
Pick up kids. Shiver in playground then go home.
17:30-20:30
Cook, put away washes #1 and #2, hang up wash #3, have dinner, bathe kids, put kids to bed, clean kitchen, empty and reload dishwasher.
20:30-00:30
Set up wireless home network with no manual.
01:00
To bed, having reconfigured both desktop and laptop to the point where neither computer will acknowledge the other nor connect to the Internet.
01:00-06:00
Toss and turn, tormented by dreams of being automatically assigned a stable IP address in my neighbourhood network but being chased by an ad hoc set up with a default SSID.

I’d rather stuff a mushroom…